keep steady my steps...

As I clicked on the button to write this post, my heart was racing. And I have no idea why. It's just a blog post.

But I have not blogged in over four years. four years. I was partially surprised that it had been that long and partially surprised that it had only been that long.

All this time has passed, yet I still find myself writing blog posts in my head. Sometimes I translate them into shortened Instagram captions. And sometimes they just stay in my head.

When I found out I was going to Boston (more on that later), I felt compelled to tell the story. I was convinced that no one cared about the details and my story is silly (that's Satan, by the way). But I knew in my heart, that I had to tell the story - even if no one read it.

Long before I knew how or why I was going to Boston, I started a notebook of Boston stuff...even then I knew there was a story to tell. I knew I was supposed to be capturing the details...I just didn't know why (spoiler alert: I still don't).

I decided to resurrect my blogging because I know two families that are blogging their way through the international adoption process. And I have been blessed by their words. I have enjoyed the updates and it has reminded me to pray for them and encouraged me in my own faith journey.

If I can have that impact on just one person, it's worth the time and effort.

I have postponed the creation of this blog so many times. So many times. Now, with less than a month to go before I hope on a plane to Boston...I'm writing the first post (which I realize doesn't say much of anything...but it's my blog and that's OK).

I'm currently reading a book called "Go Outside" by Alton Lee Webb. These words of his resonated with me recently:

Momentous things happen when ordinary people (that's me) do something seemingly small (like go to Boston or write a blog). I believe everyday people like me and you can experience the thrill and reward of going Outside when we are willing to face our own feelings of insufficiency.  (Comments in parentheses are mine.)

 After quoting the story of feeding the five thousand (Luke 9:10-17), Webb then writes "somehow our flaws and faults don't seem as big on the outside as they did when we viewed them from the inside.... As Jesus followers, are we willing to trust God with our inadequacy?"

So, here I am... flawed and faulted, telling my seemingly small story with a huge fear of inadequacy.

Stick around...it could be fun!

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Turn to me and be gracious to me,
   as is your way with those who love your name.
Keep steady my steps according to your promise,
   and let no iniquity get dominion over me.
                   --Psalm 119:132-133

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Prayer Prompt: 
Courage to share my story here without fear of judgement or ridicule.